• Keep the computer in the family room where its use can be monitored.
• Parents should control computer use by having the password.
• Invest in an effective filter program for the computer and the TV.
• Use an accountability system such as Covenant Eyes to monitor computer activity.
• There should be strict guidelines for the use of the computer and the TV, including when, how long, where they may be used and who your child may communicate with via e-mail or chat rooms. Keep in mind that just because a chat room is labeled “Christian” does not make it a healthy place for your child to be.
• Do not allow a child to go to a peer’s home that is not safe regarding computer or TV usage. If you don't know the parents well, interview them before your child goes to their home. It only takes seconds for children to be exposed to images that may effect them for the rest of their lives.
• Do not allow children to have a TV in their bedrooms. Even basic TV is filled with softcore pornography.
• Have peer accountability set up for your child, perhaps through a church youth group where male teens commit to hold each other accountable regarding personal integrity.
• Monitor what comes into your home by TV, radio, music, computer or print.
• Have regular family meetings to discuss issues and provide support. Our teens are bombarded with thousands of sexual messages each day.
• The "birds and the bees" talk is not a one-time event. Teens need their parents to walk with them through these issues on an ongoing basis.
• Most importantly, the male teen needs his father or a father figure to walk through adolescence with him. Beginning at about age 12 the male needs his father to come along side him and establish a framework of communication that will take him through his teen years. This is the male teen's practice time for manhood, and he needs his father to lead the way. How he performs in the practice round will indicate how he will perform in the real game. One of the themes of this period is "How does a Godly man deal with_______?" The blank indicates either positive or negative events that the teen will experience in the next several years. For example, the teen may experience the rejection of a girlfriend during this period. As far as he knows, this rejection will consume him. He needs his father to walk through the experience with him. If he does not develop healthy coping skills, then Satan will be there offering a way to medicate or escape these feelings. Remember, there is no rejection in the fantasy land of pornography. If a male never develops the ability to deal with the stressors of life in a Godly and healthy way, then Satan will be there to fill the void.

© 2005 David Jones. Used by permission.

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